![[Photo of a Scripture verse]](https://www.deankwilson.com/Blog_images/breaking_chains.jpg)
| Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. |
| —Psalm 51:10-12 |
In my three previous blog posts, I laid out a new series of posts using these words:
From time to time on this blog site, I’ve written about confession, repentance, restitution, and reconciliation. These four individual elements form an interdependent, interlocking, life-sustaining process that some have called “The Circle of Forgiveness.” This process becomes a very important part of the pathway for a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ—that is to say a “Christian” or “Christ’s-one”—to develop into a fully obedient citizen of the Kingdom of God.
At the same time, each of these elements offers its own set of challenges to our normal understanding. While the basis for the fundamental morality of the United States has deep roots into the soil of Judeo-Christian values, time has tended to soften, or distort, some of the concreteness of certain of those values. As a result, people end up with a skewed, or distorted, view of what these values really mean. “Confession” is one such value.
“Restoration” is the final such value. It marks the end of the journey through the “Circle of Forgiveness.” Yet, in a very real sense for most of us, coming to this last value also very likely marks the beginning of another new journey through the Circle. Our sin nature will always bring us to the need for yet another cycle of Confession, Repentance, Restitution, and Restoration. Praise God that—in His mercy and grace through the precious blood of the Lord Jesus Christ—He has made provision for us to continually keep short accounts with Him.
When one party in a relationship sins against another, the Holy Spirit begins a process of conviction. Unless the one who sinned has hardened his or her heart to the point that he or she rejects the urging of the Spirit, that process of conviction will lead the one who sinned to embark on a journey along the Circle of Forgiveness.
The one who has been sinned against plays a key role in the last element of this Circle of Forgiveness—“…forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…” By cheefully extending forgiveness to the one who has sinned, the harmed party may now lovingly assist the sinner to receive mercy, grace, and love. Once mercy and grace begin to act on the matter, the bond of Christian love will again bloom between the parties.
“If what you describe is so, why do so many in the body of believers remain estranged from each other?”
That’s an excellent question. For each individual situation, the answer comes from conducting a very careful examination to make certain every one of the four steps of the Circle of Forgiveness has been successfully completed. In any situation where you find lingering difficulty, you will find that the estranged parties have missed one of the steps, or not implemented one of them fully.
As I have suggested in several related blog posts over the last nine years or so, you can “paint over” the bad spot of sin in a relationship and try to pretend nothing has really happened. However, if the underlying sin does not become exposed and dealt with using the Circle of Forgiveness, that sin stain will always eventually reveal itself to the determent of the relationship.
Let me offer a concrete example:
Due to a bankruptcy on the part of a builder, one adult sibling in a family has an opportunity to purchase a new house at a drastic discount. This is the dream house that the sibling has longed for over many years. However, he does not have the money to purchase the house. He turns to his brother and asks the brother—who is a good deal better off financially— to loan the money in order to purchase the house until the first brother can raise the money to pay back this personal loan between brothers.
The second brother gladly complies with the first brother’s request. However, six months later when the first brother has raised the capital to settle the loan that he obtained from his brother, the second brother suddenly informs the first that he will have to pay interest on the loaned money. In fact, rather than charging a modest interest, the second brother decides to seek more interest than the current market would require, had the first brother been able to borrow the money from a bank or other financial institution.
The first brother, in shock and with a very heavy heart, grudgingly complies. But now, the relationship between brothers has been breached. Yes, the first brother remains grateful for his brother’s help in the matter—for without that help he could never have purchased the house. And, it may seem as if the incident is settled.
However, the truth is, the second brother sinned against the first. He did so by not disclosing the terms of the arrangement that he had in mind at the beginning. He further sinned by charging his brother an exorbitant rate of interest.
For many months, even years, the second brother insists that he did no wrong. He still sees his brother at family social gatherings. He even thinks that all is well between them. But, whenever he drives by his brother’s house, he remembers what he did. On the one hand, he is satisfied with himself that he made out quite well in the matter. Still, deep within his soul, the second brother realizes that he truly did harm his brother in the way he manipulated the situation to his own advantage.
You see, the second brother is being convicted by the Holy Spirit. But, the second brother does not follow the Circle of Forgiveness.
Even though the matter seems settled, every once in a while over the next twenty years, the matter pokes its head above the surface of the normally calm waters of the relationship between the brothers. And, it will continue to fester, just beneath the surface, until the second brother responds to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit and employs Confession for his sin against his brother, determines to move on to Repentance for that sin—determining to never commit such a sin again—make Restitution for his sin by repaying the interest that he charged his brother, and finally receives full Restoration.
I urge you, if you have sinned against a brother or sister in Christ, to prayerfully and carefully make your way through the four steps of the Circle of Forgiveness. If you do, God will restore your relationship and restore your joy.
