![[Graphic of Love Your Enemies]](https://www.deankwilson.com/Blog_images/love_your_enemies_v02.jpg)
| “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” |
| —Matthew 5:21-26 |
“How does a believer handle a situation where he or she has become an adversary of another brother or sister in Christ?”
Mostly we ignore this question. It’s just too painful, or too embarrassing, or too annoying. And, most of us think this question doesn’t really apply to us.
But, hold on for a moment. Think about the span of your own life. How many enemies do you have?
“Now wait just a minute,” you may respond. “I don’t have any enemies! I get along with everybody!”
If you really believe that, you’re just kidding yourself. Everybody has enemies.
Oh, I will grant you that you may not choose to use a term as harsh as the word “enemy.” But, over the course of your life as a Christian, you have certainly had run-ins with particular other Christians. You may describe your relationship with them in terms like:
“I don’t really get along with ______________.”
Or, you may say:
“____________ does things I don’t particularly like, so I avoid (him or her).”
No matter how genteel your language, let’s face it, you have enemies. And, if you don’t acknowledge that you have enemies, I imagine that out there in the Christian world there exists at least one person who thinks of you as his or her enemy.
Now, I grant you that you may have taken a tact similar to the one I have held to tightly for many years. I assert, with some precision, that I have never chosen to make someone my enemy. In other words, I consciously choose to not hold enmity in my heart toward someone. I refuse to allow myselt to “hate” someone. I do so because I learned long ago that if I hold hatred in my heart toward someone, the only person who becomes damaged by that hatred is me.
However, I acknowledge that there are numerous people who have crossed the pathway of my life who—judged by the way that they talk about me to others, or treat me directly or indirectly—have apparently chosen to label me as their enemy. It was their choice, not mine. They have chosen to make me their enemy.
So, I declare again, no matter how genteel the language you may use when you talk about other people in your life, let’s face it, you have enemies—whether you have chosen to make them your enemies or not. And, if you don’t acknowledge that you have enemies, I imagine that out there in the Christian world there exists some people who think of you as their enemy.
No longer can the body of believers—the church—ignore the fact that virtually every person who claims to belong to Jesus has at least one person that he or she can label as an “enemy.” Instead, it’s time to choose to become obedient to what Jesus has instructed His followers to do when they find themselves at odds with fellow Christians.
In the Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post, Jesus tells His disciples—in those marvelous three chapters that Bible scholars call “The Sermon on the Mount”—to always work toward reconciliation. Let me state that again, so you have no chance of misunderstanding my point: Jesus expects His followers to always work toward reconciliation. Please allow me to illustrate from a personal example:
Back in 2011, I sat on the sidelines watching the church I had attended for ten years destroy itself. I won’t presume to waste your time with a long recitation of what took place because I know that somewhere, in the sphere of your own world at one time or another, you are quite likely having—or have had—to deal with a similar, if not exact, issue in your life. Let me simply say that the seeds of a significant church split were planted, watered, and bloomed into a horrific disaster. The lives of hundreds of individuals were significantly damaged, especially the lives of the young people in the church. Only one process could have turned the tide: complete and absolute obedience to the instruction of Jesus to reconcile.
Now, most naturally, I have my own very strong opinion on what had brought about the conditions that led to this disaster. And, I take no comfort in the fact that, repeatedly over the three years prior to the split, I issued warnings of what would happen if no one took early and decisive action. Nevertheless, the solution for that situation, and for all similar disagreements within a church, remains: obedient reconciliation.
To effect reconciliation, both parties would have to have come humbly to the foot of the cross and lay every issue at Jesus’ feet. Individuals would have to have acknowledged and confessed their sins, asked for forgiveness, repented of their sins, provided restitution, and began the process of reconciliation.
While this did not happen in this particular case, I wonder if this will happen when other such situations arise? Frankly, I don’t know. Looking at the track record across the horizon of God’s people in most churches today, I would say that the chance for reconciliation seems slim. Fortunately, God remains the “God of the Great Surprise.” He has the power, through the intervention of the Holy Spirit, to bring about reconciliation. He, and He alone, can melt hardened hearts. He alone can convict of sin and promote forgiveness. He alone can move those who have sinned to make restitution. He alone can bring about reconciliation.
A very significant reason for church discipline is to promote reconciliation. That’s right. Church and denominational judicial processes do not exist to punish. To the contrary, they exist to bring parties together, expose all the hidden facts in a situation, help identify where some may have committed sins, and provide a structured forum for confession, forgiveness, repentance, restitution, and reconciliation. In the situation at that church where I attended, a judicial process began to move toward that end, but the leadership of the denomination ultimately did not have the courage and fortitude to see the process through to its proper conclusion.
Truthfully, it remains far better to head off such sinful disagreements by following the process that Jesus outlines in Matthew 18:15-17. Over the years that I have posted on this blog, I have written about these verses many times. In those blog posts, I have shared, in great detail, the importance of this far-too-often-neglected portion of Jesus’s teaching.
So, what about you? Do you have someone in your life with whom you need to begin the process of reconciliation? If so, please, do so. You will reap tremendous benefit in your own spiritual life if you do. And, most importantly, God will make it clear to you how very pleased He is with what you have chosen to do.
Just one more time, here’s the key sentence for this blog post: Jesus expects His followers to always work toward reconciliation.
