![[Photo of a Scripture verse]](https://www.deankwilson.com/Blog_images/Psalm_84_11.jpg)
| “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” |
| —Psalm 84:11 |
One of the joys of a genuine relationship arises when the people in that relationship begin to live in such a way that they no longer need to hold anything back from the other person. This wholehearted truthfulness builds genuine intimacy that leads to the strongest possible bond. It takes a willingness on the part of both individuals to allow themselves to become open and vulnerable in holding nothing back from each other.
I spoke to a man who had worked as a counselor for many years. I asked him what he had observed as the most prevalent cause of breaches in relationships. He told me that it always stemmed from distrust borne by the fact that one or both of the individuals in the relationship had chosen to hold back information from the other.
In my own opportunities for counseling people in the years since that conversation, I, too, have found that in order to build a genuinely strong relationship, both individuals must become willing to completely let his or her guard down and open himself or herself to an exchange of information that holds nothing back.
“But, he doesn’t need to know that about me?” someone will say. Or, “She would not think the same about me if she knew what I had once done.”
Frankly, an individual cannot build a solid relationship with another individual without a foundation of truthfulness and full disclosure. Genuine intimacy begins with what some psychologists call “mental intimacy.” Mental intimacy occurs when two people open their minds up to each other and do not shrink back from sharing fully what has occurred in their past. As each member of the relationship learns the background of the other, bonds of greater comprehension, appreciation, and empathy begin to form that will help each one understand the other and strengthen the connectivity of their relationship.
From this initial bond of mental, or intellectual, intimacy, all of the other intimacies form and grow: emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and physical intimacy. When the intimacy of all four human modalities—intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical—become fully formed, then, and only then, can these individuals experience maximum intimacy in their relationship.
The Sons of Korah understood the importance of a relationship with God that held nothing back. In fact, they wrote a song that celebrates this great truth, as found in Psalm 84:11:
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
Just as God withholds nothing from us, so we should withhold nothing from Him. And, that pattern of divine relationship should find a reflection in our earthly relationships with one another.
Of course, not every relationship will achieve the same level of intimacy as other relationships. But, God does intend for each person to have at least one perfectly intimate relationship. And, that perfectly intimate relationship is with Him. He also intends that the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage achieve as high a level of perfect intimacy as possible. That perfect intimacy begins with holding nothing back from the other.
As we launch off into another new day, let’s remember that God intends us to have relationships that value complete honesty. Through our willingness to hold nothing back, we build bonds of love and friendship that will last the test of time. We will begin to experience in our human relationships a mirror image of what our relationship becomes when we allow God to become the center of our lives.
