A Gentle Answer

 

“A gentle answer turns away wrath…”

—Proverbs 15:1a

The experiences of life often validate the teachings of Scripture. At least that’s what I’ve found over the years of my own life.

Thirteen years ago, when I began working as Director of Communications at a large downtown church, I became the staff representative who served on the Communications Committee. In the course of that responsibility, at one evening’s meeting, I offered my analysis of the culture held tightly by the people who have lived in this city all their lives.

It is a culture that celebrates mediocrity out of a fear of being thought uppity. People do not want others to feel that they think more highly of themselves than they should. They also take a very long time to make important decisions out of a fear that they will make the wrong decisions.

During the meeting, I offered these observations along with several others. I illustrated how the culture of the community affected decision-making within the church.

The next day, the chairperson of the committee telephoned me. She was furious with what I had said. She yelled at me and became very strident in her remarks to me.

My natural tendency, when backed into such a corner, was to respond in kind. I have a very quick and hot temper. I could have all too easily attacked her in return with white hot anger.

Just as I was about to unload some very blistering retorts of my own, God reminded me of these words from Proverbs 15:1:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Instead of unleashing my normal fury, I began to speak very softly and very quietly apologized for causing the chairperson such offense. Instantly, the tone of the conversation changed. The heat of the moment dissipated. The discussion took on a more reasonable tone. In a while, our conversation ended on a more neutral, even pleasant, tone.

I certainly understand, with the passage of time, how offensive my remarks must have seemed to her, as a long time member of this community

That is a far better outcome than if I had met anger with anger. I only wish I had applied that tactic in many other, earlier situations with other individuals.

Today, if someone approaches us in anger, let’s determine to offer a gentle response and see if that will prove God’s Word correct. Okay?

 

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