| “A gentle answer turns away wrath…” |
| —Proverbs 15:1a |
The experiences of life often validate the teachings of Scripture. At least that’s what I’ve found over the years of my own life.
Nineteen years ago, when I began working as Director of Communications at a large downtown church, I became the staff representative who served on the Communications Committee. In the course of that responsibility at one evening’s meeting, I offered my analysis of the culture held tightly by the people who have lived in this county all their lives.
In my opinion as an analyst, the County of Erie, Pennsylvania, is a culture that celebrates mediocrity out of a fear of being thought uppity or elite. People who live here generally do not want others to feel that they think more highly of themselves than they should. They also take a very long time to make important decisions out of a fear that they will make the wrong decisions.
During the meeting, I offered these observations along with several others. I illustrated how the culture of the community affected decision-making within the church. The next day, the chairperson of the committee telephoned me. The chairperson was furious with what I had said. This individual yelled at me and became very strident in the remarks made to me.
My natural tendency, when backed into such a corner, is to respond in kind. I have a very quick and hot temper. I could have all too easily attacked the chairperson in return with white hot anger. However, just as I was about to unload some very blistering retorts of my own, God reminded me of these words from Proverbs 15:1:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Instead of unleashing my normal fury, I began to speak very softly. I very quietly apologized for causing the chairperson such offense. Instantly, the tone of the conversation changed. The heat of the moment dissipated. The discussion took on a more reasonable tone. In a little while, our conversation ended on a more neutral, even pleasant, tone.
I certainly understand, with the passage of time, how offensive my remarks must have seemed to the chairperson, as a long time member of some prominence in this community. Even though I believed that my analysis was correct—and over the intervening years I have had that analysis confirmed many times by the actions of the people, and especially the leaders, who live here—I have come to understand that, along with other traits that I observed, self-analysis is not very present here. Nevertheless, I should most likely have kept my analysis to myself, rather than sharing what I had observed in that now long-ago meeting.
Turning my natural angry response into meekness provided a far better outcome than if I had met anger with anger. I only wish I had applied that tactic in many earlier situations with other individuals and in other situations.
Today, if someone approaches us in anger, let’s determine to offer a gentle response and see if that will prove God’s written Word correct. Okay? If we do, I think we will make the situation much better than it would be if we met anger with anger.
Based on a blog originally posted on Friday, June 10, 2016
