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| “If your brother [or sister] sins against you, go and show him [or her] his [or her] fault, just between the two of you. If he [or she] listens to you, you have won your brother [or sister] over. But if he [or she] will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he [or she] refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he [or she] refuses to listen even to the church, treat him [or her] as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” |
| —Matthew 18:15-17 |
“This must be one of your most favorite topics. You write about it often.”
Of course, you are correct. It is a favorite topic of mine. Or, at least it has become a favorite topic of mine over the last decade or so. Nevertheless, I must seriously ask you, “Has anyone among your circle of believing friends ever taken an evil action against you?” By that I mean, has any single one of the people around you who profess to believe in the saving power of the Lord Jesus Christ ever lied to you, or lied about you, or spoken hurtful words to you, or spoken harmful words about you, or taken some hurtful action against you? In other words, has another believer ever sinned against you?
If you answer “No!” to this question, I suggest you might well represent one of the most fortunate people on earth. Virtually all of us, at some point in our lives, have had another believer lie to us, or speak ill of us, or take action against us, or in some other way commit a sin against us.
The question: “What do we do when another believer sins against us?”
The Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post represents one of the most often-quoted and least-followed commands of Jesus in all of the Bible. As usual, Jesus’ teaching seems quite clear. He offers four specific and distinct steps when another believer sins against us:
- Go to the one who has sinned. Show that one what he or she has done. Wait to see how he or she responds. If that one confesses the sin asking for forgiveness, repents of the sin, and expresses a willingness to provide restitution when this can be done, then the party sinned against should extend forgiveness and treat the matter as concluded.
- If the one who sinned does not confess asking for forgiveness, nor repent, nor expresses a willingness to provide restitution when this can be done, go once again to the one who sinned and take one or two other believers with you and confront that one for a second time. If he or she confesses the sin asking for forgiveness, repents of the sin, and expresses a willingness to provide restitution when this can be done, then the party sinned against should extend forgiveness and treat the matter as concluded.
- If the one who sinned still does not confess asking for forgiveness, nor repent, nor expresses a willingness to provide restitution when this can be done, then make a report to the whole body of believers. This will offer the one who sinned the opportunity to receive the wise counsel of the entire church. If that one confesses the sin asking for forgiveness, repents of the sin, and expresses a willingness to provide restitution when this can be done, then the party sinned against should extend forgiveness and treat the matter as concluded.
- But, if the one who sinned refuses to repent and seek forgiveness, then Jesus instructs the church to excommunicate that one in the hopes that separation from the body of believers will bring that one to full and absolute confession, repentance, restitution, and restoration.
You can clearly see why very few individuals, and even fewer churches, have the courage and tenacity to actually employ this potent instruction from the King of Kings. In our current society with its sociological norms and its propensity for divisions of almost every kind, it takes a willingness to go way out on a limb to actually confront a person when that one has sinned against you. It takes even more courage to follow through with the second, third, and fourth steps of this process.
But, whenever a believer, or body of believers, puts to use this very wise teaching of Jesus—confession, repentance, restitution, leading to full reconciliation—an increase in harmony among believers and within the church, along with a heightened effectiveness on behalf of Christ and His Kingdom, will often come to pass. It’s clearly worth the effort.
So, if we have one or more Christian people who have sinned against us and have breached the brotherly and sisterly relationship we must have with each other in the Lord Jesus Christ, we absolutely must lovingly, carefully, prayerfully put Jesus’ teaching on this matter to good use. For nothing surpasses the joy that comes from true reconciliation.
Is this a big issue for me? Yes, it is. And, it should be for all of us, as well.
