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| “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…” |
| —Proverbs 31:10, 27-28 |
In teaching about interpersonal relationships and personality development, I have often begun the lesson on the interactions between men and women by rather boldly stating, “All men are jerks!” As you might imagine, this statement brings laughter and sometimes applause, at least from the ladies present.
The bold, hard truth is that men and women are shaped by a variety of qualities they have inherited from their bloodline and also by the experiences they have had during the course of their lives. Yet, there are certain observable behaviors that seem almost a given, depending on a person’s gender.
Oh, I know that such a statement raises the ire of individuals in our culture who are determined to try to erase any differences between men and women and who continually strive to achieve a gender neutral milieu. But, while they might not realize it yet, such an endeavor is a losing battle. Biologically, psychologically, emotionally, and physically men and women are, in fact, vastly different creatures.
Women have very strong, natural interpersonal skills that men often lack. Women are naturally collegial, while men are naturally competitive.
In many ways, women are fearless, while men hold within themselves deep seated, often unrecognized, fears—including a basic fear of women.
On the one hand, men—driven by the predominant sin of lust—want to conquer and dominate women. On the other hand, men need the nurturing, support, and unconditional love that only a woman can provide.
Women are driven by the predominant sin of covetousness. Their internal “radar” always looks to see what other women have. If they see something they view as desirable, they want that desirable thing (or person), too.
Yes, like men, women are sinners. They tend to fall victim to different sins than the ones that assail men. But, they are still sinners.
Nevertheless, women possess so many admirable qualities that it is appropriate to acknowledge the very positive differences that women bring to interpersonal relationships. Certainly King Solomon understood this when he devoted much of Chapter 31 of the Book of Proverbs to celebrating the unique value of women.
Note what Solomon wrote, as recorded in Proverbs 31:10, 27-28:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…
In this time when our culture is being torn apart by a wide range of foolish philosophies—a time when long-held norms are being attacked with the intent of fundamentally transforming our views of God’s creation, as expressed so beautifully in men and women—we need to study the Bible and take a stand against these evil directions.
We need to celebrate the differences that God gave to men and women when He created them. We need to recognize that these differences complement each other when men and women become one through marriage.
The biblical phrase regarding marriage “two become one” is not limited to a description of a physical oneness. The sense of this phrase is that in marriage a man and a woman complete each other in all four modalities of human existence: heart, soul, mind, and strength—or, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically.
Within all of our interpersonal relationships involving members of the opposite gender within the Body of Christ, the Church, we need to understand the great value that each gender brings to the table of life.
We need to recognize and celebrate our God-given differences. We need to value each other. We need to relate to each other with God-breathed (agape) love.
Then, and only then, will we be able to build the kind of fellowship that God intends for His dearly loved children.
