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| “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” |
| —Proverbs 31:30 |
More and more young people are resisting the bond of a committed marriage and planning to simply live together. They claim that they get to enjoy all of the benefits of a union, without all the hassles that a formal marriage can create. They see no value in making their relationship any more permanent than whatever bond develops between two people with common interests in the moment.
The purpose of this blog post is not to defend marriage or to criticize those who have chosen the pathway I’ve described above. I don’t agree with that decision. It’s difficult to find out statistically how such relationships work out over the long term. I suspect that some eventually marry. Others change partners every few years. A very rare few seem to operate with significant commitment without the blessing of God or the civil authority.
No, the purpose of this blog post is to examine the value that Scripture places on a wife. We find that information in Proverbs 31, categorized as the sayings of King Lemuel. Here’s Proverbs 31:10-31:
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I suspect that some women today might strongly resist this image of womanhood. It seems far too patriarchal. It seems as if the woman exists only to serve. Where is her opportunities for free expression? Where is the value that she brings to the larger picture of life?
Nevertheless, I find the description both interesting and thought provoking.
We celebrated Mother’s Day a few days ago. What was your mother like? Was she a Proverbs 31 mother? Mine was.
So, I guess in posting this I’m celebrating my mom and my wife—who claims she’s not a “mother” because we’ve never had children, yet who has “mothered” thousands of children during her 30+ years as an elementary school music teacher.
But, I’m also wondering if our families would have a lot more stability if they consisted of a husband and a wife working in partnership and in which the mom exhibited the underlying qualities that inform the behaviors described in this passage.
Perhaps it’s something to think about.
