Thursday, May 31, 2012

Walk Hand-in-Hand Away from Despair

 

13 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. 14 They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him.

17 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. 18 One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you only a visitor to Jerusalem and do not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

19 “What things?” he asked.

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. 20 The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; 21 but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. 22 In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning 23 but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. 24 Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.”

25 He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

28 As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus acted as if he were going farther. 29 But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

33 They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together 34 and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” 35 Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.

—The words of Saint Luke from Luke 24:13-35

 

Two were traveling together... hardly on a path they intended, however. All had been going so well for them. How could it be that things had come to this?

A hulking giant had captured them, put them into his dungeon which was “nasty and stinking to the spirits” according to John Bunyan. “Here they lay,” reads his classic book Pilgrims Progress, “without a bit of bread, or drop of drink, or light, or any to ask how they did.”

The giant’s name was Despair. He was the long-time Lord of Doubting Castle. It was his property they had unintentionally transgressed.

Bunyan writes:

“When the giant arose the next morning, he getteth him a grievous crab-tree cudgel, and goes down into the dungeon to them, and there first falls to ranting of them as if they were dogs, although they never gave him a word of distaste: then he fell upon them, and beat them fearfully, in such sort that they were not able to help themselves, or to turn them upon the floor.”

The morning of the next day, this Giant Despair:

“...goes to them in a surely manner as before, and perceiving them to be very sore with the stripes he had given them the day before, he told them, that since they were never like to come out of that place, their only way would be forthwith to make an end of themselves, either with knife, halter, or poison: for why, said he, should you choose to live, seeing it is attended with so much bitterness?”

When alone, these two traveling companions, their names being Christian and Hopeful, talked over their options. Their conversation included a very weary and discouraged Christian saying:

“My soul chooseth strangling rather than life; and the grave is more easy for me than this dungeon!”

Consistent with his name, Hopeful offered these words:

“Who knows but that God, who made the world, may cause that Giant Despair may die, or that, at some time or other, he may forget to lock us in; or that he may in a short time have another of his fits before us, and may lose the use of his limbs?”

Bunyan continues:

“Thus did Hopeful moderate the mind of his brother; so they continued together in the dark that day, in their sad and doleful condition.”

Later, the Giant came again and took them into the castle-yard and showed them bones and skulls:

“‘These,’ said he, ‘were pilgrims as you are, once, and they trespassed on my grounds, as you have done; and when I thought fit I tore them in pieces; and so within ten days I will do you. Get you down to your den again;’ and with that he beat them all the way thither.”

Discouragement—How often it waylays spiritual travelers.

Dismay—“And to think that when we started on this path it seemed so pleasant and rewarding.”

Hopelessness—“No one cares. Why should we continue? No one even asks how we are doing.”

Despondency—“What difference does it make anymore? Nothing seems worth the effort. Life is attended with so many problems.”

A heavy spirit—“Lately it’s a burden to even get ready to go to church.”

Oh yes ... the old Giant Despair still stalks these lands. He’s such a big fellow, you would think pilgrims could see him coming and quickly flee. But, that’s seldom the case. Despair has a way of entrapping you almost before you know it.

Like with Christian and Hopeful—exhausted from traveling hard toward the Celestial City, on an awful stormy night, even with all their skill and experience, they still couldn’t make it to their point of destination. Having lost their bearings they sat down under a shelter. But, being weary, they fell asleep. Unfortunately, early the next morning the Giant was out roaming his acres, and with a grin and surly voice had bid the two “Awaken!”

Once captured by Giant Despair, it is extremely difficult to get free on your own. Have any of you here found that to be true? Just because you personally tell Depression to “Leave me alone!” doesn’t mean it will oblige.

What discouragement hangs over you this day?

  • Did someone tell you that you weren’t needed anymore?

  • Did someone tell you don’t fit?

  • Did someone treat you like a mad dog?

  • Did someone invalidate your years of ministry?

  • Did someone verbally abuse you?

  • Did someone tell lies about you?

  • Did someone trash your reputation?

  • Did someone steal your job from you?

  • Did someone make a mockery of your efforts to serve Christ and His Kingdom?

  • Did someone speak ill of you to others?

  • Maybe you’re a visionary. But, too few have rallied to your dream. It’s much too big to pull off on your own. You probably won’t make it without the help of others. And now, you’re too far into the process to quit, but too far away from the goal to remain excited about thinking you’ll actually finish. And, what were those three options again—poison, a rope, or a knife?

Possibly, my friend, your wounds come from within the church. Unexpected back stabs can be especially debilitating. You tried your best to be Christian, but that didn’t stop the false accusations—or the gossip—or the lies. So now, you render your service without joy. It’s constrained. You said you would, so you do your duty. But, God knows, it will sure be good when your present term has ended.

It was on Saturday night, about midnight, that Christian and Hopeful began to pray, and they continued until almost the break of the next day. Bunyan writes:

“Now, a little before it was day, good Christian, as one half amazed, broke out into this passionate speech: ‘What a fool,’ quote he, ‘and, thus to lie in a stinking dungeon, when I may as well walk at liberty! I have a key in my bosom, called Promise, that will, I am persuaded, open any lock in Doubting Castle.’

“‘Then,’ said Hopeful, ‘that’s good news, good brother, pluck it out of thy bosom, and try.’

“Then Christian ... began to try at the dungeon door, whose bolt, as he turned the key, gave back, and the door flew open with ease, and Christian and Hopeful both came out. Then he went to the outward door that leads into the castle-yard, and with his key opened that door also.

“After that, he went to the iron gate, for that must be opened, too, but that lock went desperately hard; yet the key did open it. Then they thrust open the gate to make their escape with speed; but that gate, as it opened, made such a creaking, that it waked Giant Despair, who, hastily rising to pursue his prisoners, felt his limbs to fail, for his fits took him again, so that he could by no means go after them.

“Then they went on, and came to the King’s highway again, and so were safe, because they were out of the Giant’s jurisdiction.”

A key called Promise—Bunyan didn’t tell us which of God’s promises it was. Before I finish this blog post, I will have a suggestion I’d like to make.

The Giant Despair. I first heard about him when I was a student. Then, this story was somewhat academic to me. Not academic because of the classroom setting, but rather because I hadn’t yet put any time in the dungeon of this Giant’s castle. You have to be some days and weeks in that putrid hole, “nasty and stinking to the spirits,” to be sure that if you ever get out, you’ll do your best to not get caught a second time by this foul-mannered Goliath.

But, I have attempted this week to recall what it’s like to be trapped in that dark pit ... and how the beatings hurt ... and how one’s spirit can sink—sink so low, so very low.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have to try very hard to remember what it’s like to be held in that dungeon. Truth be known, I sometimes seem to vacillate, almost on a daily basis, between laying my despair at Jesus’ feet, and feeling so weighed down with despair that my body actually aches from the awful weight of it.

I suppose my greatest problem stems from one of the high points of my own character: I am a person who abhors injustice. Why, when I was an eight-year-old boy, I created a super-hero called “The Commander of Justice,” who roamed my neighborhood—at least inside my childish mind—righting wrongs and punishing bullies.

Little did I realize that the injustices I suffered as a child would not begin to compare with the injustice I have suffered over the course of the last three years and ten months. It hasn’t helped that my particular personality absolutely demands justice. Thus, I find myself far too often imprisoned in my own particular dungeon of despair.

So in this blog post, I want to share with you a word that I believe comes directly from the Lord. At least that’s what I felt in my own spirit, as I considered the Scripture reference at the beginning of this blog post. You see, I don’t want to write things that are little more than clever truisms about two walking together on a most awful journey.

It was a seven mile road running west and north from Jerusalem to the village of Emmaus. These two didn’t walk at a good clip like most of you do when you go shopping or come to church. Instead, they more or less shuffled along. Involved in a most serious and somber conversation.

One kicked at a stone, while completely missing the beauty of the sky overhead. You see, his face was downcast. It says so in the Bible.

The other asked, “How can it be, Cleopas, that things have come to this?” But, Cleopas didn’t answer. His head was turned, now, because he heard footsteps behind them. How could this pair ever have anticipated the wonderful surprise that was in store for them? It would be unthinkable that the stranger who now asked “What are you two discussing as you walk along?” would be the Christ. Hadn’t He died an awful death two days earlier on a Roman cross?

Well, you likely know this story quite well. And, if not, you can read it by clicking on the link following the Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post.

Have you come to read this blog today in a burden-carrying mood? The truth is many people do. Life tends to be filled with more lows than it does highs.

My guess is that if I asked for hands—and if I could actually see them—I suspect that more of you would indicate this has been a hard year, than would lift your hand indicating that for you it’s been an easy, magical, wonderful year.

One of the reasons John Bunyan’s book has become such an all-time classic is that so many readers can identify with episodes like Giant Despair showing his browbeaten captives the collection of bones and skulls and telling them:

“Why don’t you just end it all and leave this miserable world behind.”

Some of you are probably wondering if I’m going to remember to tell you what that key called Promise is. And, when I do, will you realize that what I say has great value? Or ,will you choose to believe it’s not really worth getting all that excited about?

Others of you may still be mulling over the passage about the two on the road to Emmaus. Cleopas is a man’s name. Was the second individual a man as well? Maybe this was a husband and wife team. Nothing in the text prohibits that from being the case.

History is filled with stories of two traveling a difficult path together as couples. Given to each other by God, they are to be a mutual encouragement or helpmates.

I’m thinking of one such pairing where the husband had a tendency to get caught rather consistently by the Giant Despair. Because her overtures of encouragement seemed too often to fall on deaf ears, to get Martin’s attention, his hopeful wife, Katie, dressed herself all in black.

“And who’s died now that I didn’t hear about?”

Martin Luther the reformer asked this question of his mate when he saw her. No doubt this was yet another woe to add to his list that already was quite long.

“Oh, didn’t you hear,” she replied. “God died!”

“God can’t die!” Martin Luther snapped back, more than a bit annoyed with her remark.

“Then,” Katie wanted to know, “Why are you acting like He did?”

Katie Luther was reminding Martin that God is life, and that God’s son, the Lord Jesus Christ, was risen from the dead—that his grave remains empty—and that there IS a key of Promise that opens every lock in Doubting Castle. Katie wanted to clearly remind Martin Luther that two traveling a difficult path together can encourage each other with the promise of the presence of their resurrected Lord.

Together they can get the risen Christ to join them in their situation. Didn’t He promise in Matthew 18:19-20:

“I also tell you that if two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together because they are mine, I am there among them.”

What a marvelous promise! As few as two can be assured of the Emmaus road experience. We don’t have to mope along with heads down all the time missing the miracle delight that Jesus brings to such a journey!

Two traveling together!

If you’re on an extremely difficult path as a disciple, and you have no friend to walk it with you, you may not be in God’s will. At least I’ve found that the Lord seldom asks one individual to go it all alone on a road filled with many hardships. That’s not usually His way. You need an understanding spouse, a close Christian friend, a co-worker, a prayer partner, sometimes even a support team! Why? To encourage each other. It’s one saying to the other, like Hopeful and Christian in Pilgrims Progress:

“Haven’t we been in these dreadful straits long enough? What do you say friend, let’s turn to God and get serious about His role in this matter! Did He raise His son from the dead or didn’t He? If God did that, certainly He ought to be able to help us out as well.”

An enemy trap to avoid when coping with discouragement is his attempt to keep you alone and focusing on the problem, forgetting all about the wonder of the risen Christ journeying with you. The devil will do anything he can to keep believers from joining together in prayer and, by doing so, encouraging each other in their faith.

Are you in a difficult situation? Does it feel like the Giant Despair has it in for you? Then, your number one job is to find a praying friend. Not just any friend, but a friend who knows how to pray, or at least is willing to learn how quickly.

Is life going great? Couldn’t be better? Find a praying friend. Keep the enemy at bay. Don’t let the devil get anywhere near.

Most married couples don’t pray all that much together. Not all that many church people have prayer partners. This needs to change.

Two, coming together before the Lord in an attitude of praise, equals more than just “one plus one.” By the King’s sacred oath, He joins with them in such an experience.

In summary, what I’m writing to you distills down to this sentence: “Two traveling a difficult path together can encourage each other with the promise of the presence of the resurrected Christ.

Let your story of two walking together take a new and wonderful turn. Look around and see that you’re being followed by another whom you might rightfully suspect is the King of kings Himself. Oh my!

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

We praise You that in our hours of despair when we cry out to You for justice You graciously send someone to walk with us as we seize upon Your promise and begin to walk out of the prison that binds us.

Thank You, dear Father, for leading us by Your Holy Spirit along the pathway that You have laid out before us. And, thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

________________

Author’s Note: I am indebted to my spiritual mentor, Rev. Dr. David R. Mains, who many years ago preached a message on his radio broadcast, The Chapel of the Air, that formed the basic foundation for this blog post.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Pure or Corrupt?

 

15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

—The words of the Apostle Paul from Titus 1:15-16

 

The pathway of a person’s life is a series of choices. Every day, day after day, each person makes countless choices. The direction of each choice marks the pathway a person chooses to travel along the road of life. We steer our passage by making choices.

In the Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post, the Apostle Paul offers council to Titus regarding his ministry assignment on the Island of Crete. Paul lays out a cold, hard fact about the spiritual condition of all men and women. Each person chooses purity or corruption. Each choice has characteristics that arise as a result of that choice.

Consider your own life today. Have you chosen purity by allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you into truth and obedience to Christ and His Kingdom? Or, have you chosen corruption by following some other leader?

If you’ve made the wrong choice, turn back and choose the better way.

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Father, thank You for laying out a pathway of purity and obedience for us. Thank You for giving us power through Your Holy Spirit to stay on the path of righteousness, truth, and justice. Uphold us when those around us would see us falter and fail.

Breathe peace into our minds and hearts. Hold us tightly in Your loving arms. And, precious Father, thank You for hearing our prayers in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Denial and Delusion

 

21 Surely you heard of him (Jesus) and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

—The words of the Apostle Paul from Ephesians 4:21-25

 

Every family has problems. When you face problems in your family, how do you deal with them? Sometimes husbands or wives think, If we just had the money the Kennedys do, or the Gates, or the Buffets, life would be so much easier. But what happens with such a fortune is that you just inherit a new set of headaches. Wealthy families aren’t any more problem-free than poor families.

What’s important for families is how they deal with their particular problems. According to Dolores Curran, author of the best-selling book Traits of a Healthy Family, a healthy family expects problems and considers them to be a normal part of life. In contrast, dysfunctional families are often marked by denial and delusion. They find their problems too painful to deal with, so they just say, “There’s really no problem here!” And they sweep things under the rug.

Problems are not the “problem.” That sounds a bit silly, doesn’t it? Yet, it’s true. Problems are not the “problem.” The “problem” is how we deal with problems. In many ways, how a family deals with problems helps define whether that family is functional or dysfunctional. And people from dysfunctional families bring their dysfunction into the church. So, how a church family deals with problems helps define whether the church family, the family of God, is functional or dysfunctional.

The road to creating a functional church family begins by defining those behaviors that lead to a well-balanced, fully functional, completely effective family. Since the church family is the best family of all, we all need to do our part to “grow up into Christ.” At least that’s what the Apostle Paul urges in Ephesians 4:15:

15 ... speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

But what about this dysfunctional family trait of denial and delusion? Maybe the husband and father is an alcoholic, but that’s too embarrassing for anyone to admit. The reality is just too hard to come to grips with. So the family pretends the problem doesn’t exist. They live in a certain delusion, explaining away the obvious.

Or, perhaps the wife and mother is a workaholic. She’s unable to be nurturing because she doesn’t have any time for it. Her children have learned to go elsewhere when they need someone to talk to. That’s because Mom always says something like, “Can’t you see I’m busy at the moment, dear?” The project she’s working on always takes priority. This mother’s work is more important to her than her family’s needs.

“That’s just not true!” says Dad in her defense. “Your mom’s a good person. You know that, don’t you? Someday maybe she won’t be under so much pressure from her work.” In reality, that’s wishful thinking. It’s a denial of the truth.

In healthy families, problems like these are confronted. Styles differ as to how they go about it. Some families visit a counselor. Others call a family conference where everyone has a say before a course of action is decided.

Before moving on too quickly, let me just point out that within dysfunctional families—that is, on the inside of those families—this pattern of denial and delusion isn’t as easy to recognize as one might think. An outside observer wonders how anyone could miss what’s happening. But, over time, the family members have learned to look right past the obvious. They’ve gradually accepted the questionable behavior as normal ... and excusable ... and defensible.

Even when a professional counselor points out the problem, it may take the family a while to agree that, “Yes, Mom does have a work compulsion.” Or, “Dad needs to get help; his drinking isn’t under control. Just because he still has his job doesn’t prove anything.” Patterns of denial are deeply rooted, and families’ defense systems can become incredibly creative at maintaining the status quo.

There’s a great deal of pain involved with denial. Sometimes it’s felt immediately. For example, when Mom snaps, “I don’t have time to talk right now; can’t you see I’m under a great deal of pressure!”, those words could actually bring tears to a child’s eyes because of a strong sense of rejection.

Or, the pain of denial might become internalized, only to rise to the surface years later at unexpected times through intense anger or cursing or throwing tantrums. Why? Because a boss or friend or spouse or fellow church member does something that reminds the adult child of what happened when he or she was young. And the person’s not going to let that happen anymore.

Denial of problems in families doesn’t make the pain go away. And the aftereffects can go on for decades.

In contrast, healthy families work toward the ideal of honesty in all their relationships. They don’t want lies to occupy the very center of their living. They declare, “If we have a problem, let’s recognize it and work on it. If we need help, let’s get it.”

Often dysfunctional church families display the same symptoms as dysfunctional individual families. That’s because people carry the dysfunctional traits from their own families into the family of God, the church.

For example, sometimes church people don’t understand that problems and conflicts occur as a very natural and normal part of congregational life. That’s right! Problems and conflicts are a normal part of church life. Because Jesus dwells in the hearts and minds of believers, they assume that sanctification—the process of becoming holy—overtakes a believer in an instant. They say, “If we’re all converted, why can’t we get along? We ought to just love each other. After all, one would think that the best family in the world should be problem-free!”

Sounds good, but it’s just not true. In the church, we know we’re all sinners. The only problem is, nobody admits what his or her particular sin happens to be.

In Alcoholics Anonymous meetings a person will say, “Hello, I’m William. I’m an alcoholic.” That’s the reality factor. But in church we don’t greet each other by saying,

“Hi, I’m Edgar. I’m an addict. My problem is that I have an inordinate need for affirmation.”

Or, “I’m Beatrice. I tend to be a crybaby.”

Or, “I’m Ted. I have a problem with lust and that lust is fed by the way the women in the church sometimes dress.”

Or, “I’m Isabel. My tongue can get out of control if I’m not careful.”

One of the problems with the contemporary church is that it’s structured in such a way that opportunities for true openness and honesty are difficult to come by. When is it appropriate to say what you’re struggling with? Do you do that during the worship hour? Hardly! Do you write out your confession to be included in the Sunday bulletin? Of course not! Do you pick up an appropriate nametag in the church lobby that identifies your sin of greed, lying, gossip or laziness and slap it on your dress or lapel? No! That’s just silly!

What about confessing your sins during a Sunday School class? Do you blurt out,

“This last week I cheated on a test”?

Or, “I was severely tempted to be dishonest at work.”?

Or, “I’m a married woman, yet I flirted with the handsome new guy in the produce department at the grocery store.”?

No! No! And, no! None of those places affords an appropriate place for true openness and honesty.

My personal feeling is that the best forum for that kind of admission is a well-established prayer partnership. In that setting, and over time, people have built a context for support and accountability and confidentiality. In a well-established prayer partnership, Christians can feel comfortable sharing in all honesty. I admit the contemporary church simply doesn’t put enough emphasis on prayer partnerships, but that could change.

The next-best solution would be for small groups to take on the responsibility for encouraging openness. Contemporary churches are often lacking in the area of small groups, as well. But that also can change.

You see, when the church provides no forum to work through problems, sooner or later we have no choice but to get used to pretending we’re OK. When trouble comes, everyone just acts shocked and says, “Oh! Such things should never be! What a pity! What are we going to do?”

But again, denial doesn’t eliminate the pain. The hurt remains. Have you ever noticed that there are a lot of wounded people in our churches?

In Ephesians 4:25, the Apostle Paul writes to the church at Ephesus:

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

So here’s a biblical emphasis on honesty. That’s because—“Healthy church families set aside denial and delusion and work toward the ideal of honesty in all their relationships.” That’s true of healthy individual families, as well. They might not do it in the same way, but they figure out how to be open and honest with one another, because that’s important.

How do we, in a healthy church family, begin to go about “setting aside denial and delusion and, instead, work toward the ideal of honesty in all our relationships?” First of all, keep in mind that neither dysfunctional family traits nor dysfunctional church family traits are changed overnight. They have been years—often generations—in the making. You don’t just say a prayer and, “poof,” they vanish. We have to think of long-range results, of restructuring, of becoming more “New Testament-like.” But we can do it.

Secondly, remember that for people to come to grips with denial they must take great risks. It’s terrifying to think that your carefully-built defenses might be dismantled; to realize that your rationale for the way you act is flawed. It’s humiliating to acknowledge that the other person wasn’t to blame in a given instance, that you were the one who behaved like a jerk. To face such a realization can prove devastating.

The term denial is the professional counselors’ way of referring to people’s refusal to admit certain shortcomings or sins. Everyone else may recognize the lies, but not those in denial. They are insistent that their weaknesses don’t exist.

“I’m not impulsive in the way I act.”

“My drinking is under control.”

“Who’s lazy?”

“I don’t hold grudges.”

“I don’t know why you bring up procrastination, since that’s not a serious problem for me.”

“Just because you say I’m a ‘people-pleaser’ doesn’t mean it’s so.”

I’ve come to believe that until a Christian opens himself or herself to the voice of the Holy Spirit, it doesn’t matter who says what; he or she won’t be able to hear it. The denial factor is just too great.

Part of an ongoing healing process for the dysfunctional church involves learning about dysfunctional families and how negative patterns are passed on from one generation to the next. Each new level of understanding brings one closer to Christ’s truth, and this will begin to make you free. But the journey is certainly not without pain and risk. Healing often involves a time of hurting, whether because of a surgeon’s knife or the pruning shears of the Holy Spirit that Jesus talks about in John 15. One must learn how strong denial is, and how difficult it is to overcome.

Obviously, no family is perfect. But a healthy family at least works toward the ideal of openness and honesty in all its relationships. When an individual or a family is coming to grips with denial, it’s extremely important to do so in a safe environment.

Just because Christ is present in His family, the church, doesn’t mean we can expect people to be open about painful areas of their lives unless they’re in settings that have been established as “safety zones.” However, “safety zones” can exist in congregations where the believers have set up prayer partnerships—times set aside where people can get together in groups of two or three or even more, and pray together every week for several months. After becoming comfortable, over time, with the established level of confidentiality, it’s not unrealistic for someone to be able to say something like,

“You know, I’ve been having a real struggle with my tongue. When I get angry I use crude words, and sometimes when I’m under pressure I even take the Lord’s name in vain. I really wish you’d pray for me.”

Or, “I have a problem with another person. I’ve actually come to hate him, to hope he gets hurt, to wish him dead. I know this isn’t right. Would you pray with me?”

Prayer partnerships are the right place for such honest requests. Maybe you’re thinking, I wish our church would set up prayer partnerships, but it hasn’t. The truth is, you can also do this on your own. You don’t have to wait for the church to organize prayer partnerships.

Let me prayerfully suggest that you think about who might be open to praying with you, someone you could trust. Approach that individual and decide what day and time you could get together. Start making a list of things you might pray about—family, church, work, personal needs, friends who don’t yet know Christ—and then try praying together a couple of times.

Don’t start the first time together by dumping an emotional load on the other person. Allow the relationship to build, and then, over time, new levels of honesty will develop. You see, we need to work at creating that safe environment.

These prayer partnerships are not designed to be therapy sessions. Don’t try to play the role of counselor when your friend shares a prayer request. You don’t want him or her to do that for you either.

First, listen. Maybe ask a question or two. Then intercede on his or her behalf. In other words, talk to the Lord about the concerns of your friend. He or she does the same on your behalf. If there’s a “counselor” present, it’s the best one of all, the Holy Spirit.

But when you pray, believe that God listens. And often He answers our prayers in marvelous and wonderfully creative ways. He makes us aware of His promise that where two or three gather in His name, the Lord Jesus is there as well. And eventually, He’s the One who leads us into all truth. When Jesus does this, how truly wonderful that is.

“Healthy church families set aside denial and delusion and work toward the ideal of honesty in all their relationships.”

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Father, I praise You for Your truthfulness in dealing with people. You don’t sweep problems under the rug, but You’re always up-front and honest with us. You call us to be open with You, as well, because You’re intimately acquainted with all our thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

Here in the quietness of this moment where we’ve come apart from the hustle and bustle of the world, we invite Your Holy Spirit to speak to us right now, as we wait before You.

Thank You, Father, for the promise of Your Presence to lead and guide us through the week ahead. And, thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

________________

Author’s Note: I am indebted to my spiritual mentor, Rev. Dr. David R. Mains, who many years ago preached a series of messages on his radio broadcast, The Chapel of the Air, entitled “The Dysfunctional Church Family.” One of those messages formed the basic foundation for this blog post.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

“I Hate You!”

 

18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

20 Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘‘No servant is greater than his master.’’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.

22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. 23 He who hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’”

—The words of Jesus in John 15:18-25

 

In the last week of Jesus’ life on this earth, just prior to His crucifixion, He spent time with His disciples to prepare them for what they would likely experience once He had returned to heaven. The Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post captures one of the more chilling instructions that Jesus gave.

He basically told His followers that the world would hate them because it hated Him.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced white-hot, gut-wrenching hatred from someone. I hope you’ve been spared that experience. Sadly, over the course of my life, I’ve had a few occasions where someone has made it very clear by both words and deeds that he or she truly hated me. I’m not talking about a momentary emotional outburst brought on by some passing disagreement. No, I’m describing the intense, “I would surely kill you if I could” kind of hatred that comes from someone who has fought a spiritual battle of wills, lost that battle, and turned the vitriol swirling within their psyche into a death-ray of hate, which they then pour out in your direction.

The key to understanding such hatred resides in understanding that it springs forth from spiritual warfare. The hatred comes from sin exposed, wrong doing brought to light, evil unveiled.

Jesus talked about this in the above passage when He explained to His disciples, “If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father.” Jesus tore away the cloak under which His opponents had hidden the truth of their sin. He exposed their evil intent to the glorious Light of His Presence. The cleansing power that comes from banishing darkness with Light, in turn, promoted a response wherein Christ’s opponents revealed their true feelings of hatred toward Him.

Such it will be with every believer who stands for the truth. We live in an ever-darkening world. Sin abounds more and more. Because Satan wants to destroy the body of Christ, the church, he has infiltrated the church with his emissaries. These purveyors of evil intend the destruction of the church, not by cataclysmic events, but by a slow erosion of it’s effectiveness.

Anyone who stands against evil, promotes transparency and accountability, speaks up when believers commit wrongful acts against each other—that one will come under attack. He or she will feel the burning ray of hatred.

Thanks be to God! Forewarned is forearmed. That’s why Jesus took the time to teach His followers what would come their way. He wanted them to become mentally prepared for the onslaught. He wants us to become mentally prepared for that onslaught as well.

Now, please hear me out. In defending what’s right, we must always do so in a loving, caring, respectful, yet firm manner. We must not purposely incite our opponents to hatred. But, we must also not be surprised when they direct their hatred at us. Okay?

“Well, thank you very much for an uplifting blog post!”

Yeah, you’re right. It’s always easier to write something sweet and uplifting. But as these days become darker, we need to become prepared. So, for today at least, I thought I would call attention to these worthy words of our Lord. May He guard us and keep us and cover us with the protection of His precious blood when those who oppose us scream, “ I hate you!”

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Precious Father, we ask You to cover us with the blood of Your Son, Jesus, to protect us from those who would direct their hatred at us because we have taken a stand for Your truth. Please continue to fill us with the power of Your Holy Spirit that we may bend our wills to Your will in true obedience.

We thank You, Precious Father, that You daily supply us with a full measure of Your mercy and grace. And, we thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

 

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Power of God’s Presence

 

14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne;
        love and faithfulness go before you.
15 Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,
        who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord.
16 They rejoice in your name all day long;
        they exult in your righteousness.
17 For you are their glory and strength...

—The words of Ethan the Ezrahite in Psalm 89:14-17

 

In His Presence
By Dick and Melodie Tunney
Copyright ©1988. Use by permission. All rights reserved.

In the quiet of this hour
As I kneel before You now
I believe Your promise to be faithful
I don’t always understand
What Your perfect will demands
But I've learned to trust You more
In Your presence Lord

In Your presence there is comfort
In Your presence there is peace
When we seek to know Your heart
We will find such blessed assurance
In Your holy presence Lord

There can be such sweet reward
When we wait upon the Lord
As we take the time
He gives His perfect wisdom
To be found in Him alone
All our deepest secrets known
We're surrounded by His grace
When we seek His face

In Your presence there is comfort
In Your presence there is peace
When we seek the Father's heart
We will find such blessed assurance
An ever-open door
To know our Savior more
In the presence of our Lord

 

Christian artist, Sandi Patty, sings a lovely version of the above song from her album Quiet Hearts: Songs of Restful Peace for Women (available by clicking here). The words and melody crafted by the Tunneys parallels the ancient words of the Psalmist known as Ethan the Ezrahite included in the Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post.

In both instances, these authors—separated by thousands of years—give testimony to the power of God’s Presence. Did you notice the qualities we may experience when we walk in the light of God’s Presence?

  • We may rejoice in God’s Name


  • We may exult in righteousness


  • We may experience God’s glory and strength

I don’t know about you, but those seem like reasons that would commend walking in the light of God’s Presence. God longs for us to accept His loving care. He wants us to dwell in His Presence. He encourages us to depend on the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us bend our wills to His will.

Are you looking for peace, comfort, contentment, and joy? You will find all of these as you walk in the light of God’s Presence.

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Precious Father, we invite Your Holy Spirit to take our hands and guide us along the pathway You have laid out for us. Help us to stay on the right path. Lead us that we may walk in the light of Your Presence.

We thank You, Precious Father, that You daily supply a full measure of Your mercy and grace. And, we thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Path Provided

 

11 You have made known to me the path of life;
        you will fill me with joy in your presence,
        with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

—The words of King David in Psalm 16:11

 

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

 

You likely have heard the story about the man from New York City who traveled to the northern reaches of Maine and found himself on a backroad terribly lost. Finally he came to a fork in the road. Fortunately a road sign pointed down each lane. But in each direction the sign stated a single word: “Chapman.”

The man sat at the fork in the road puzzled for several minutes wondering which way he should go to reach his destination. Since the sign indicated that both roads led to the same town, the man wondered whether one road offered a safer, more direct route than the other.

Finally, an older gentleman came walking slowly along the road. His stooped posture and scraggly beard marked him as someone who had likely lived in the area a long time. Upon seeing another human, the man from New York City brightened.

“Excuse me, sir,” the man from New York City asked through the open window of his car. “Does it matter which road I take to Chapman?”

The old Mainer stopped for a moment, scratched his beard, looked in the direction of first one of the lanes and then the other. Finally, he looked straight into the eyes of the man from New York City and replied, “Not to me it don’t.”

In the Scripture verse at the beginning of this blog post, King David gives assent to the reality that God has provided a pathway along the road of life: no fork, no crossroad, no question of the direction, just a pathway to follow. As we walk the road of our lives we can experience the joy of knowing that God has done the same for us. He has laid out a path for us. He has given us the indwelling Holy Spirit to lead and guide us along that pathway.

Let us burst forth in joy!

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Precious Father, we sense joy arising within us as we consider the great gift You have given us of a clear pathway to follow as we proceed along the road of life.

We thank You, Precious Father, that—especially in the midst of the chaos of this life—You are the One who controls every aspect of our lives. We choose to rest in Your mercy and grace. And, we thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

 

Monday, May 7, 2012

A Healing Tongue

 

4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
       but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

—The words from King Solomon in Proverbs 15:4

 

In 1967, as part of a research project for a radio production techniques class in college, I had the opportunity to read through some of the 221 scripts for the television series The Lone Ranger. On the air from 1949 through 1957, this series featured Clayton Moore in the role of the masked hero and Jay Silverheels in the role of the Lone Ranger’s faithful Indian companion, Tonto. The dialogue in these scripts held a particular fascination for me because I had grown up listening to replays of the radio programs and then watching the series—once we became the proud owners of a television set.

I remember one particular exchange between the Lone Ranger and Tonto:

Tonto:That man speaks with a sharp tongue, Kemosabe.

Lone Ranger:Why do you say that, Tonto.

Tonto:Man walks with head high and tilted back, swaggers from side to side. An arrogant man. His tongue matches his stride.

Imagine that: “His tongue matches his stride.” What kind of tongue do you have?

In the Scripture verse at the beginning of this blog post, King Solomon asserts that when a tongue brings healing it becomes life giving like a tree. But a tongue that speaks lies crushes the spirit.

In the latter case, Solomon dosen’t indicate whose spirit becomes crushed. I suspect that the lies from a deceitful tongue crush both the one who speaks the lies and the one about whom the lies have been spoken.

How much better it would be in every situation if we all decided to use our tongues to bring healing instead of deceit or strife.

I felt truly surprised when I received a telephone call from a friend who pointed me to some public Facebook posts by one of the ordained elders from the church she attends—now embroiled in a major church split. After reading them, I could understand her concern. She has consistently prayed for healing and restoration. But, taken at face value, these posts hardly seem to evoke a spirit of reconciliation. I suspect that, if confronted, the elders who created these posts, or commented on them, would likely claim they intended their words only as humor or “blowing off steam.” Yet, to my friend, who longs to see her church healed and restored, they seemed like pouring gasoline on an already-burning fire.

Even so, I’m sure that neither you nor I need to troll the internet or social media sites to find examples of words harshly spoken. We only need to look inside our own minds and hearts at the words the Holy Spirit will call to our remembrance—times when our tongues did not speak healing words.

As we surrender our wills to God and allow Him to shape us into the people He wants us to become, let us determine to amend not only the stride of our walk but the words of our tongue. Let’s strive to become people who use our tongues to bring healing.

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

Precious Father, we fall on our faces before you in humility and confess those times when we have used our tongues to bring harshness, cruelty, and strife. Forgive us for failing to use our tongues to bring only healing. We pray You will grant us the ability to rely on Your Holy Spirit to help us guard how we use our tongues.

We thank You, Precious Father, that—especially in the midst of the chaos of this life—You are the One who controls every aspect of our lives. We choose to rest in Your mercy and grace. And, we thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Copyright © 2012 by Dean K. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.