1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
—The words of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:1-2
Back when you were growing up, did a doghouse exist in your family? No, not the one outside in the backyard for Fido, but a figurative doghouse that one of the family members always seemed to occupy?
Maybe your family had a favorite child, another who seemed usually in a more neutral spot, but also a son or daughter everyone knew regularly spent time in the doghouse. That child ended up in the doghouse for doing something bad or embarrassing. The withholding of love went along with putting a family member in that position. For example, a parent might not talk to the person for days ... or weeks ... or months! The family “doghouse” became an awful place for the person in it.
The existence of a family doghouse often indicates dysfunction in a home where parents and siblings extend love more on the basis of performance than simply extending love consistently, persistently, and unconditionally. The unstated rule is, “Please me, and you’ll earn my love. Go contrary to my expectations, however, and you’ll know my displeasure!”
Naturally, I hope that you to whom God has given the privilege of being parents have never treated any of your children so badly by withholding your love because they didn’t behave the way you expected. I also pray that in the family of God, in the church, we never make our brothers and sisters in the Lord—spiritual sons and daughters—experience the pain of feeling unloved just because they don’t perform up to our expectations. If there’s anything that should characterize the family of God, it is unconditional love—the kind of love our heavenly Father consistently and persistently extends to us.
In the Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post, the Apostle Paul refers to us as “dearly loved children” of God. God consistently and persistently extends His unconditional love to us every single day.
A word of clarification: The fact that God consistently and persistently loves us unconditionally doesn’t mean He makes excuses for our wrongdoing. But be aware that while He calls us to walk His better way, He doesn’t stop loving us when we stumble or fall. God loves us so much and so completely that He has invested the very life of His own Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to grant us forgiveness for our sins. And, because God loves us unconditionally, we can extend the same kind of love to our church family. We can say to others,
I accept you and love you for who you are. You don’t have to conform to my standards. But in this family we also want Christ to teach us to become more like Him. We encourage each other in this regard ... sometimes with tough love, love that confronts ... but that’s still love. In this special family, love is never withheld. At least, it’s not supposed to be.
What a difference there would be if the Church were made up of men and women and boys and girls who extended love the way Christ did! In a sentence, what I’m striving to share with you today goes something like this: “Because God loves us unconditionally, we can consistently and persistently extend the same kind of love to all in our church family.”
Let me suggest you set aside time this week to formulate your own list of people in the church to whom you have difficulty in consistently and persistently extending Christ-like love. Once you have your list, pray for each person. Ask God to enable you, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to consistently and persistently show His unconditional love to that one.
Will you pray with me?
Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.
We praise You for Your unconditional love. You take great pleasure, great joy, great delight in Your children. We don’t have to earn Your love. We praise You that we have been made acceptable to You through Christ’s ultimate act of love on the cross.
Precious Father, we invite Your Holy Spirit to speak to us right now, as we wait silently before You.
Thank You, Father, for the promise of Your Presence to lead and guide us through the week ahead. And, thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
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Author’s Note: I am indebted to my spiritual mentor, Rev. Dr. David R. Mains, who many years ago preached a series of messages on his radio broadcast, The Chapel of the Air, entitled “The Dysfunctional Church Family.” One of those messages formed the basic foundation for this blog post.
1 comment:
Thank you Dean,
I was often in the doghouse and so appreciate the reminder of your message that God's love far transcends my disobedience. I also appreciate that if a church member seems to be "punishing" us for whatever offense, that we can take your suggestions on how to respond and not perpetuate the dysfunction.
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