4 In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.—The words of King David from Psalm 4:4
Can you tell the difference between anger and passion? I can. I have to. I have to because all through my life I’ve had people accuse me of being an angry man.
“Whenever you talk about _____________________, I hear such anger in your voice.”
For a very long time I took that accusation to heart. Then, one day, I began to search the Scriptures and seek out all of the passages that dealt with anger. Do you know what I discovered? There’s a huge difference between someone feeling and expressing “anger” and someone who feels and expresses “passion” about something.
In second grade I became disgusted with the foolish behavior of many of my male peers. I had been raised in a neighborhood virtually devoid of children—all the children had grown and gone. So, when I got to Kindergarten. I had markedly different social skills than my peers. Having spent most of my life with adults, I tended to think more like an adult, particularly about activities that posed danger or some potential threat for physical harm.
I did not respond well to dares. In fact, I didn’t respond at all. If someone dared me to do something, I would just shake my head and walk away. Because I felt absolutely no connection with my peers, I did not respond to peer pressure. Thus, I stood out and very quickly became cast out. Frankly, this suited me just fine.
As my disgust over the behavior of my male peers increased, I retreated into a fantasy world similar to the one I had occupied in those five years before I started school. I created an imaginary character called “The Commander of Justice.” CJ spent his time roving the neighborhood righting wrongs, punishing wrongdoers, and saving the world from stupid behavior. I, of course, was CJ.
As I would recount my carefully woven tales of CJ’s exploits to my parents, they became concerned. “You seem so angry, dear,” my mother would say. And so it began—what I have come to call “The Angry Man” label.
During college, as I studied psychology, and particularly as I participated in group therapy and individual counseling, I began to get a glimmer of understanding of the difference between anger and passion.
Anger is visceral. It rises up within someone from deep within his or her inner being. It is unreasonable. It expresses itself in vitriol. It is aggressive, or passive-aggressive. It intends harm. It wants to destroy. It is a negative emotional experience.
Passion comes, not from an inner rage that wells up within, but more from a wave of compassion that sweeps in from without. Passion is reasonable and is rooted in one’s intellect. Passion expresses itself in wanting to right a wrong, repair something or someone damaged. Passion is assertive, but not aggressive or passive-aggressive. It intends good. It wants to repair, rebuild, restore, or create. It is a positive emotional experience.
The Scripture passage at the beginning of this blog post captures King David’s attempt to draw the distinction between anger and passion. “In your anger do not sin.” If you feel strongly about something, particularly a wrong that you have observed, control the inner drive that pushes you to try to right the wrong so that the drive does not lead you to sin. Allow self-control, guided by the Holy Spirit, to confine your passion to repair, rebuild, restore, or create within the boundaries of reasonableness that defines true passion.
A person can feel deeply, care deeply, desire deeply to see a wrong righted and even express that desire in highly motivational language and still remain within the boundary that separates passion from anger. Just because I want to see wrong behavior eliminated, wounds healed, truth revealed, or errors corrected does not make me an angry man.
Yes! I am passionate. In fact, I am very, very passionate. But, angry? No! I am not an angry, angry man.
Will you pray with me?
Thank You, God, for loving us. Thank You for sending Jesus to be our Savior. Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit to dwell within us.
You, O God, are the One who restrains our passion and keeps us from drifting into sin. You are the One who lets Your passion flow through us to minister to the needs of a sick and dying world. You are the One who causes our very being to reflect Your desire to see all that’s wrong made right. Please continue to help us yield our passion to Your Holy Spirit. May Your Spirit guide us so that our passion does not give way to sin.
We thank You for Your mercy, grace, and love. And, we thank You for hearing our prayer in and through the precious Name of Your Son, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment