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| “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” |
| —Galatians 5:6b |
Way back in 1964, when I was a junior in high school, Psychiatrist Eric Berne wrote a landmark book entitled Games People Play. In this book, Berne introduced the popular culture of that day to a tool of psychotherapy called “Transactional Analysis.” Throughout my private consulting practice with churches, non-profit Christian organizations, and commercial businesses during the 1970s and 1980s, I often used Transactional Analysis as a tool to help people understand what was happening in their day-to-day exchanges with their co-workers.
One of the “games” that most often disrupts a smoothly functioning workplace is called “Let’s You and Him (or Her) Fight!” In this transaction, a third party creates a situation that will divide two co-workers into separate emotionally charged camps. Then, the third party will initiate some critical event that will start an anger-filled conflict between the two innocent parties.
I am fairly well convinced that this is exactly what our arch-enemy, Satan, has done to the Church over the issue of the acceptance of homosexuality in all its permutations and, particularly, same-gender marriage.
You see, on the face of it, both sides of this issue have arguments that actually retain significant merit when viewed through their own lenses.
One side sees people who, for no fault of their own—sincerely believing they were born with a particular predetermined sexual orientation—are being denied full acceptance into society, and particularly the large number of benefits that accrue to the advantage of people united in a legal contact of marriage issued as a “license to marry” from the government.
The other side sees what appears to them very clear instruction in God’s Word—the Bible—that forbids all forms of sexual activity outside of the marriage between one man and one woman. These folks—and for purposes of full disclosure, I happen to be one of them—sincerely believe that to sanction as “normal” within the Church behaviors that they believe the Bible clearly indicates as sin will impair the ability of the Church to function as God intends it to function. These people make a very clear distinction between the temptations to engage in any sexual activity outside of marriage between a man and a woman and the performance of such sexual acts. It is important to note that these people do not single out homosexuality, but hold this strong belief toward all forms of sexual activity outside of that which takes place between a man and a woman within the bond of marriage.
Historically, there is no question that a broad range of non-marriage sexuality existed in almost an epidemic within the borders of the Roman Empire at the time of Christ. Earlier in history, certain people groups also had become obsessed with sexual activity that strayed outside the definition given by God to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden—that is, within the marriage between one man and one woman. Even God’s own chosen people, the Jews, had succumbed to the sexual practices that had sprung up around them and taken multiple wives. Both Scriptural and secular accounts of Jewish history describe a pattern of the folly of this practice, describing how it introduced conflict into the nuclear family unit. Thus, in both Jewish and Christian culture, wisdom ultimately prevailed and polygamy disappeared from the mainstream of both cultures several hundreds of years ago.
It is also true, historically, that sexual activity outside of marriage between one man and one woman has always occurred with great frequency. However, it is only within the last 50 years or so that secular society has lifted the very strong stigmas that have heretofore been imposed during modern times, at least outwardly and vocally, on such sexual activity. This has forced the Church to decide how it will handle the matter.
In an ever increasing number of instances, the Church has chosen to look away and pretend this was not really a problem—except in the matter of homosexual activity. That’s why it seems to many in the secular world that the Church’s attitude toward homosexuality has been so unfair. And, it is also why so many Christian denominations have, over time, softened in their viewpoint toward all non-marital sexual activity.
If the Church had held fast during these times of great stress to the boundaries and definitions of “sin” as expressed in Scripture and not slowly, but inexorably, compromised—not only in sexual matters but in a host of other types of sin that the Bible decries—secular people would not be as confused by those Christians who give voice to a strict biblical interpretation. But, alas, the Church has hoisted itself on its own petard, as it were. And, we now see the confusion we have caused in our inconsistency.
While the Bible does not differentiate between the seriousness of various sins—with the exception of the unpardonable sin of grieving the Holy Spirit—we Christians have long made quite specific value judgments about which sins are the really serious ones. For example, the Roman Catholic Church long ago faced this issue and ultimately created two kinds of sin: mortal and venial.
But, as a result of the Reformation, Protestants discarded these categories as part of the so-called “corruption of the Church” they hoped to rectify. And, of course, they only have ultimately exchanged one form of so-called “corruption” for another. It may well be that we Christians would have done much better over the ages if we had stayed together, instead of always splitting, again and again. But, I digress.
Believers should not—and, in fact, dare not—think that a secular society will accept their beliefs. So, push back from the secular society against biblical values is expected.
The real problem in all of this is the one that now exists for sincere believers who come down on the differing sides of this issue, in that their differing opinions places them in conflict with one another and divides the body of Christ, the Church, into angry and disagreeable camps of people. They waste energy fighting with each other and, thus, allow Satan to gleefully watch what he has created in the game “Let’s You and Him (or Her) Fight.”
It is my sincere and earnest prayer that eventually cooler heads on both sides will prevail and efforts will be made to conform to the Psalmist’s declaration in Psalm 133:
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe.
It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.
Or, all the more so, the instructions of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:1-6:
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
As we begin this day, I humbly ask you, my fellow believers in the life-transforming power of the Lord Jesus Christ, to pray that the current “game” “Let’s You and Him (or Her) Fight,”which Satan has set into motion will not divide us. We certainly can learn to respect each other’s point of view without becoming rancorous and accusatory. We do not need to call names.
Instead of joining with those in the secular society who take delight in name-calling, let us determine to defend our brothers and sisters. Let us acknowledge that we can hold differing points of view on certain matters and still remain committed to the purpose for which the Lord Jesus, Himself, established His Church.
If we do this, Satan will be defeated once again and the love of Christ will break through the fog this matter has created. After all, the most important thing remains what the Apostle Paul declared in Galatians 5:6b:
The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
Indeed, nothing matters more than this. As fellow believers, let us lock our minds and hearts together and become absolutely filled with the love of our Savior and move forward with the purpose of introducing a needy and dying world to the life-giving reality of His everlasting mercy, grace, and unfailing love.
